Jun 27 2012

I lied, Brody Jenner is NOT dead..

I will be the first to admit, I can be a total asshole… I’m difficult, temperamental, and feisty as shit. But along with that comes extreme loyalty, forgiveness and ~~I’m super cute~~ compassion.

After a 3 year long feud with Mr. Jenner we have finally reconciled our differences and called a truce. I’m here to admit my wrongs and take back all the dicks I drew on his pretty face.

I ran into Brody the other day at a party, he was accompanied by a very striking babe by the name of Jessica Vargas. We hugged it out- and I got my friend back. Enemies are stupid. Brody I’m sorry. You are an awesome guy and friend to everyone around. It is rare to find a guy in this generation who is always sticking up for, and taking care of their friends. This is a very understanding and awe- inspiring baby, so If you see him buy him a beer and wink at him. Along with that you may want to throw in a compliment or two because Leo’s are suckers for them.. I know, because we share the same birthday, and I LOVE compliments;) also….I will be accepting gifts for the entire month of August, and most of September..

Happy summer, make love not war.

So I had another wet dream last night and it wasn’t the usual me running around searching for my vibrator (long story) This one was WAY better … I dreamt that Brody was being ass raped by Shaquille O’neal while wearing a tutu and being staple gunned in the face.. BEST orgasm of my life. I saw this clown at a party last night- drunk as shit, and trying to fight everyone AGAIN! Doesn’t this spoiled reality t.v. reject have anything better to do than ruin party’s? He clearly stated that he didn’t like me and I’d like to at least give him a reason why. Hey asshole why don’t you be a real man and get a job! 28 years old and hasn’t worked a day in his life.. PATHETIC!! You might want to spend less time hating others and more time working out your issues. BUZZ KILL BRODY. It has been confirmed that Brody did not get any ass last night.

That was a prior article I wrote and I take it back, no more fighting, no more bullying and mucho kisses for everyone. Except for you Lohan, you can still suuuuckkkk it………